How To Get The Spark Back and have a marriage that is like in the top 1% of the world?

Let’s be honest—when you’ve been in a
relationship for a while, it’s easy for things in the bedroom to fall into that “meh” rhythm. You still love each other, sure, but where did that wild, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you spark go? One of the most delicious ways to bring it back? Fantasizing—and sharing those fantasies.

I still remember the first time my now-husband (then-boyfriend) asked me, “So… what are your sex fantasies?” 17 years ago I was 21, still a bit naïve, and blurted out:
“I’m walking along a sunny beach when I meet a strong, handsome stranger. We flirt, laugh, and end up having wild, passionate sex right there.”
He was… not thrilled. 😂
His fantasy?
“We’re older, married, with kids. On a quiet Friday night, after they’re in bed, we slip into the sauna and jacuzzi and have passionate sex.”
I was mortified. I mean—he’s dreaming about a cozy future with me, and I’m fantasizing about a beach hookup with a complete stranger?!
But here’s what I’ve learned in the eight years since we started OpenMity (and many more years of relationship adventures): fantasies aren’t always about who we love—they’re often about what excites us. And there is a difference between fantasies and desires.

Men vs. Women: Do We Fantasize Differently?
Turns out, yeah—there are some differences.
🧠 Women often crave story, buildup, emotional connection, seduction, and forbidden tension. It's not just what’s happening—it’s how it feels.
👀 Men tend to be more visual, focusing on bodies, acts, scenarios—more direct and desire-driven.

Of course, this isn’t black and white. Many women love rough, raw fantasies. Many men crave slow-burn passion. It’s about personality, experience, comfort, and what turns you on today (because that might change tomorrow).

Okay, Deep Breath… My Fantasy #1: The Gynecologist’s Challenge
It started with a soft confession—her voice barely above a whisper as she lay on the crinkly white paper of the exam table.
“I’ve never….. had an orgasm from penetration.”
The doctor paused for half a breath. Calm on the outside. But inside? Oh, his mind had entered challenge mode. Challenge accepted, indeed.

Of course, he stayed professional. He proceeded with the check-up, voice steady, touch clinical. But she noticed it—something had shifted. A certain... tension in the air. A firm little problem beneath his coat that pressed just slightly against the fabric.

She couldn’t help but glance down. Yep. That he was so hard.

Her cheeks flushed. But it wasn’t embarrassment—it was excitement. She suddenly felt intensely desired, her whole core—her vulva tingling with anticipation. Juicy, awakened. Her breath quickened. Her body leaned in. Her hand moved—tentatively at first—just to feel him through the fabric.

He inhaled sharply. Still, no sudden moves. He was the calm professional—but his eyes gave him away. There was fire there now.

He stepped behind her, whispering that from a medical standpoint, she was perfectly healthy.
“No problem with your vulva. Quite the opposite,” he murmured.
Then, slowly, his lips brushed the side of her neck.
His fingers traced along her thighs.
His nose grazed her hair.
Soft, controlled, devastatingly slow.
She was placed gently onto a soft surface—no more sterile paper here. He lowered himself between her legs, worshipping her with kisses, tasting every reaction, every gasp, every shiver from her juicy core.
Then he sat beside her, breathing heavy, his penis resting against his stomach—hard, throbbing, begging. She didn’t hesitate.
She needed to feel it.
To ride it.
She climbed onto his lap, her vulva pulsing, hungry, alive. Every nerve in her body was begging to feel him inside. She slid onto him slowly—inch by inch, pressure building, pleasure blooming.
“I want to feel you,” she whispered. “More and more…”
And when she finally reached that long-awaited summit. Oh yes…
So. Damn. Good.

#2 The Open Door

There’s something so freeing about being in an adults-only hotel. No kids, no rules, no small talk with strangers by the breakfast buffet. Just me and my husband I—fully in our own world.
That night, we left our hotel room door open. On purpose.
I didn’t care about the position, or how we started—it wasn’t about that. It was about the feeling. The heat, the connection, the delicious sense of being watched and desired.
As we moved together—his penis inside my vulva, deep and full—I could hear footsteps in the hallway. Then silence. Then… presence.
I peeked over his shoulder. A man. Handsome. Curious. Just standing there, shirt already unbuttoned. And then another. And another.
Three of them. Watching us.
They weren’t creepy or crude—just quietly, clearly aroused. Their penises were hard, beautiful, and completely on display.
And something in me lit up.
I felt desired, admired, so damn sexy. And I knew he felt it too. My husband looked over, caught sight of them, and that smirk on his face told me everything. His penis grew even harder inside me, pulsing with fresh intensity.
We didn’t say a word. We didn’t have to.
We were putting on a show—and loving every second of it.
I wrapped my legs tighter around him, feeling my vulva throb with each deep, hungry movement. The energy in the room was wild—intimate and wicked, all at once.
And as we reached our climax, our audience followed suit.
Their release landed across my stomach, my chest, like quiet applause. We smiled—my husband, me, and our three silent companions. All tangled in the same heat, all glowing from the same high.
Satisfied, naughty smiles.
And maybe next time… who knows? It’s not just a show. 😉
#3 The Massage Room Tension
There’s something about massages. Like that old saying goes:
“I hate getting a massage,” said no one—ever.
There was something different about her seventh massage. Not in the technique—he still used the same steady, confident hands, the same calming voice, the same professional tone—but in the energy that hovered in the room like steam rising from warm skin.

She had come prepared this time. Just a subtle shift—her most delicate, barely-there lingerie beneath the towel. It didn’t reveal much, but it was enough to make her feel daring. Sensual. Noticed.

When he entered the room, she “accidentally” let the towel slip a bit. Just enough. Their eyes met. He helped her cover back up, but in that brief pause, the room changed. His voice softened, his breath caught.

Still, he began the session as always—focused, composed, in control.
But his hands lingered just a touch longer. The glide of his fingers down her spine sent ripples through her. His palms pressed into her lower back, her hips, the backs of her thighs. Everything professional. And yet—charged.
"Lately I've felt some tightness in my glutes," she said, casually.
“Then I’ll give that area some extra care,” he said, his voice steady but softer than before.
He did. His hands moved with purpose, and he slowed down. Not because he hesitated, but because he wanted to savor the moment—each motion deliberate, respectful, but deeply connected.
There was something about her presence—her curves, her stillness, the way she trusted him—that stirred something in him.
Her body responded subtly: a quiet exhale, a shift in breath, a warmth that spread through the room like a secret. She melted into the table, feeling the weight of his touch in places that awakened more than just muscle memory. She was so wet.
He aches and fantasizes about closing the space between them—to feel her skin brush against his, to pull her butt closer and taste the moment on her lips. He’s already lost in the thought of entering her, and the craving that builds with it leaves him so hard. To slow down, he asks her to turn around so he can finish by massaging her shoulders from behind her head. As he leaned closer, the space between them narrowed until she could sense the heat of his body just above her—close enough to feel his hard penis through the thin fabric between them. She knows what she wants. Desire takes over, and without waiting any longer, she closes the distance with a daring first touch.
Her touch trails down to his penis, slipping it free from the layers between them. Then, with a mischievous glint, she pulls his penis to her lips—continuing with the passionate suck. The moment their connection deepened, it hit them both—he felt incredible, and the tension that had been simmering between them for so long finally found its release. Neither of them could slow it down now, nor did they want to.
Time was slipping through their fingers - the session was nearly over. But the moment? It wasn’t done with them. Not yet. She is so ready and wet, she can’t wait to feel him inside her. And he enters; what a release! It feels so good.

And when the partner asks: “What would you like?” the only thing we can say is, “I don’t know.”  These little fantasy scenarios will help you imagine the possibilities :)

“The Box of Burning Desires” is a match made in heaven for date nights and romantic evenings.

• It opens up the topics that you’ve probably been too busy to ask or maybe even shy to ask each other. Or maybe you just haven’t found the right moment after yet. This game is a playful and fun way to open up the conversation for meaningful and spicy questions.
• It also comes with 50 romantic and naughty ideas illustrated with lovely watercolor drawings.

Spicy Card game content

• 170 romantic and spicy questions
• 50 playful ideas to build anticipation
• 50 pleasure cards with watercolor illustrations
• 36 spicy fantasy scenarios
• 2 blindfolds
• 1 dice
• Game board