36 Sexy Things to Try
How to Spice Up Intimacy
The key to spice up intimacy is that both partners are excited to explore and try new things together. Once you've opened that door, the world of "sexy things to try" becomes a playground, not a performance.
Novelty Creates Desire: One of the most consistent findings in relationship research is that novelty helps maintain attraction. That's why trying new things together often feels exciting.
36 Sexy Things to Try, Split Into Three Categories:
- Sexy Foreplay Ideas
- New Things to Spice up the Bedroom & Beginner-Friendly Kinks to Explore
We love each other, but sex has become predictable. How do we make it exciting again?
Focus on changing patterns rather than simply “having more sex.”
- Change the usual script. If intimacy normally follows the same sequence, deliberately change one element: the time, setting, who initiates, or how the evening begins. E.g. Change the tone — command instead of ask "Undress. Slowly. I want to watch.", "You're going to stay exactly like that while I use my mouth on you."
- Start flirting hours earlier. Send a suggestive message in the morning or tell your partner what you're looking forward to later. Anticipation can make the evening feel different before it even starts. (Whisper in their ear: "I'm not wearing underwear" — then walk away)
- Let the other partner plan the night. Take turns being responsible for creating a surprise intimate evening. "I want us to take turns being in charge of sex night. Not just initiating — planning the whole evening. Surprising each other. I'll go first this weekend. You just have to show up."
How to spice up a relationship - 72-Hour Intimacy Rule
Don't let more than 72 hours pass without intentionally doing something that builds attraction, anticipation, flirtation, or connection. This does not mean having sex every three days. It means keeping desire active.
That could be:
- A flirty text
- A passionate kiss
- A massage (check sensual massage gift set for couples)
- A fantasy conversation
- A couples game (check 11 sexy games for couples)
- A dedicated intimate evening (check ideas in FAQ section)
- A new position (check 165 foreplay and sex ideas)
The goal is momentum.
How can I suggest trying new things without making my partner uncomfortable?
If talking about fantasies face-to-face feels awkward, try a Yes, No, Maybe List together. You each go through the same list privately and mark ideas as Yes, Maybe, or No, then compare your answers.
Start with your mutual Yeses, explore the Maybes you're both curious about, and leave the Nos alone. You may discover that your partner has been curious about some of the same things—you just never knew how to bring them up.
How can I build sexual anticipation throughout the day?
Playful → Suggestive → Bold
Physical versions (if you see them during the day):
Whisper in their ear: "I'm not wearing underwear" — then walk away
Hand them a note they can't open until later
Brush against them purposefully, hold eye contact, say nothing
Level 1: Subtle / Morning or Midday (6–8 hours before)
Text:
"I keep thinking about your hands today."
"Saw something that reminded me of you. Made me smile."
"Counting down until I see you later."
Level 2: Playful / Afternoon (3–5 hours before)
Text:
"I'm going to be very distracting when you get home. Fair warning."
"Just booked the sitter / cleared my schedule. You're mine tonight."
"Wearing something you like under this. You'll have to wait to find out what."
Action:
Send a photo of your bed made with fresh sheets, or candles out — no words needed.
Level 3: Direct / Early Evening (1–2 hours before)
Text:
"I'm already turned on and you haven't even touched me yet."
"When you walk in, I want you to find me [specific: in the shower / on the bed / wearing only your shirt]."
"No talking when you get here. Just kissing."
"I'm going to make you wait until you can't stand it."
Call/Voice message instead of text:
"I'm touching myself thinking about what we're going to do. Just wanted you to know."
Level 4: Explicit / Minutes before
"I'm soaked / hard already and it's your fault. Hurry."
"Walk in the door and put your mouth on me. Everything else can wait."
"Don't even take your coat off. Find me first."
Level 5: Ongoing / All day escalation
Morning: "Good morning. I had a dream about you."
Lunch: "Can't focus. Keep replaying last time."
Afternoon: "Leaving work early. Be ready."
Evening: Your sexy photo
Sexy foreplay ideas
- Try wearing a remote-controlled vibrator to a fancy dinner, letting your partner hold the remote and tease you at unpredictable moments. The secret game you're playing, creates an intense, shared focus. Every glance across the table becomes charged with meaning, a silent acknowledgment of your secret and the delicious power your partner holds.
- Exploring power exchange in foreplay. This doesn't have to involve elaborate costumes or scripts. It can be as simple as one person taking complete control for an evening. "Tonight, you will not lift a finger," one partner might say. "I will draw your bath, I will pour your wine, I will tell you when to undress and what position to take." This temporary, consensual surrender of responsibility can be an incredible release, a chance to exist purely in the realm of sensation without the weight of decision-making.
- Nip & Tease: It’s her turn to take control — using only her nipples.
He lies down, either on his back or his stomach, and closes his eyes. She slowly begins to explore his body, gliding over his skin with her chest, letting her nipples trail across him. She takes her time, teasing sensitive areas and building anticipation with every soft, deliberate movement.
- Boobjob Reinvented: The man licks the woman's breasts while she is on top, taking his time to explore and tease with his tongue. <--the foreplay activity from Yes-No-Maybe Checklist
If you're both into dominance and submission, this is the right moment to incorporate dirty talk.
Kinky version: “Lick my tits!” She grabs him by the hair and lets him know who’s in charge.
- Solo "shopping sprees". Reclaim the element of surprise that new relationships thrive on. Plan secret, solo "shopping sprees" for each other. The mission is not to buy lingerie, but to buy a single, interesting object that represents a desire: a piece of rope, a new type of lube, a feather, even a specific type of food. "I'm thinking about us in a new way." The act of unwrapping that gift and discovering its potential is a shared adventure. It transforms an ordinary Tuesday into a night of discovery, reminding you both that there are still new chapters to be written in your shared story of passion.
- The Center of Sexual Energy: She lies down on her back while her partner slowly begins a gentle massage just below her belly button. Using moistened fingers and soft touches of his tongue, he explores the sensitive area about four centimeters beneath it — a spot often believed to be the center of sexual energy.
- A Hidden Spot: Your partner has to tease the very special dimple on your collarbone area where it connects with your neck. This is an erogenous zone not many people know about.
Start by running your fingers over the bone, gently caressing it. Then use your tongue along the underside of this much-neglected sexy spot.
- Use Your Words: Tonight, share with each other the things that spark your desire the fastest — the little moments, gestures, and touches that make your heart race. Be very descriptive and use examples of your favorite positions.
Talk about your recent intimate moments too: what you loved, what made you melt, and how it all made you feel. - Blindfold & Breathe: Her partner gently blindfolds her, heightening her senses. Using only his breath, he slowly teases along the inside of her thigh, moving gradually upward and letting anticipation build as he approaches her most intimate areas.
Seal the deal with some kisses in this area for a truly erotic effect. - Try a Tingling Arousal Gel on Clit – Looking for a simple way to spice things up? A tingling arousal gel can add an extra layer of sensation, helping touch feel more intense and exciting. The cooling or warming effect can bring a fresh element of novelty to your intimate experiences
What could I plan when it's my turn to create our intimate evening?
Level 1: Low-Stakes / Playful
The Blindfold Dinner
Planner's script: "I'm making dinner. You're wearing a blindfold until I say otherwise. Trust me."
Evening structure: Feed them bites blindfolded, eat in underwear or naked, the blindfold stays on through foreplay.
Level 2: Medium Investment / Novelty
The "New Person" Night
Planner's script: "I'm not me tonight. Neither are you. I'll explain when you get home. Wear something you wouldn't normally wear."
Evening structure: Both adopt personas — different names, different backstories, different sexual personas (shy vs. aggressive, experienced vs. innocent). Meet at a bar separately and "pick each other up." <-- check roleplay ideas
Level 3: High Investment / Immersive
The "Kidnapping"
Planner's script: "Be ready at 6. Pack a bag with [specific items: your black dress, your vibrator, that thing I like]. I'm picking you up. No questions."
Evening structure: Actually leave the house — hotel, Airbnb, even the car somewhere private. The removal from routine space makes it feel stolen and urgent.
Hour 1: Sensory deprivation — blindfold, headphones with specific music, touch only
Hour 2: Intense focus on them — bath, massage, oral, no reciprocation allowed
Hour 3: Their turn — release the build-up however you've planned
New Things to Spice up the Bedroom & Beginner-Friendly Kinks to Explore
- Face-Sitting: The man lies on his back while the woman straddles him. Her vagina is pressed against his lips, so that she can see his face. The man stimulates her vagina with his tongue and clasps her butt with his hands. The woman is in control and can grind at her own pace. <-- activity from the Box of Burning Desires Game
- Exploring Anal Play: If you're curious about new sensations, anal play can be another avenue of intimacy to explore together. Whether that involves toys, fingers, or penetration, the key is to go slowly, communicate openly, and focus on comfort. Some women report experiencing intense pleasure from anal stimulation, making it an exciting option for couples who want to broaden their sexual experiences.
Example: The spooning position is often recommended for beginners because it allows for a slower, more relaxed pace. The receiving partner can control the depth and speed, making it easier to stay comfortable and adjust as needed. As with any anal play, using plenty of lubricant and taking your time can help make the experience more enjoyable for both partners. - Ride & Rule: The Reverse Cowgirl is great for women who want to take control. The man lies on his back, and the woman straddles him, facing away. While in this position, the woman can grab the man’s feet and push each pressure point in rhythm with her thrusts. This will feel especially good right before the man is about to climax. <-- Example from the Love Battleship Couples game
- Pull Your Partner's Hair: Add a Touch of Playful Dominance. Gentle hair pulling can introduce a new dynamic to your intimate experiences, adding a sense of passion, anticipation, and excitement. Start slowly, pay attention to your partner's reactions, and focus on what feels pleasurable for both of you.
- Try Prostate Massage: If you're open to trying something new, prostate stimulation can be an interesting way to explore different types of pleasure. Often called the male G-spot, the prostate can produce unique and highly pleasurable sensations for some men. The key is to take your time, communicate openly, and focus on comfort. Whether you're exploring with a partner or using a purpose-designed product, approaching the experience with curiosity and patience can make it a rewarding addition to your intimate life.
- Sideways 69: The typical 69 position, where one partner is on top, can feel a bit awkward. But by lying sideways, you can both get comfortable and enjoy the process and feelings together.
The most extensive adult game available
Foreplay and Sex ideas in a game
- 50 foreplay ideas to set the mood and build anticipation
- 50 sex cards with watercolor illustrations
- 36 fantasy scenarios
- 170 spicy questions
- Reverse Watermelon Sugar: The woman gets down on all fours and arches her back, exposing her bare buttocks. The man then licks her vulva from behind, taking in the gorgeous view. For more pleasure, add fingering to the mix and, if you want to go even further—try anilingus. That means licking the area around the anus, which feels great. Don’t take our word for it—try it yourself!
- Deep-throating: Try deep-throating—she takes a penis (or similar objects) deeply into her mouth and throat, beyond usual oral stimulation. It can require practice, relaxation, and comfort, as it involves controlling the gag reflex.
Tips:
Go slowly and stay relaxed.
Focus on breathing through your nose. - Pinball Pleasure Sex Position: The woman gets into a sort of bridge position (butt lifted into the air). The man penetrates her while on his knees. It should look like someone playing pinball (though you wouldn’t see this in an arcade). This move is not for the faint of heart, as it can be quite strenuous. But the deep penetration is a great way to score extra points!
- It's Time to Get Your Blindfolds Out! Being blindfolded beats just turning off the lights, because you can always peek through your blindfold if you want to. The woman lies on her back with one leg up over her partner's shoulder, while the man kneels and straddles the woman's leg. Then you both can really focus solely on the physical sensations.
- He Gets Bound to a Chair: He sits in the sturdy wooden chair, watching as she expertly binds his ankles to its legs, rendering him immobile. Next, she pulls his arms behind him, the rope wrapping around his wrists and securing him to the chair’s back.
She kneels, stroking and then sucking his hard cock, enjoying his desperate groans as she reminds him who’s in control. After teasing him to the brink, she straddles his hips and sinks down, riding him with wild passion. She uses his bound body for her own pleasure.
Add dirty talk like: ‘Every inch of you belongs to me right now, and I’m going to take my time enjoying it.’ ‘And this hard dick is at my mercy now, here to pleasure me.’
- She Gets Bound to a Chair: Her ankles are bound to the chair, and her arms are secured behind it. He steps back, admiring the exquisite picture she makes—her body exposed, her breasts rising and falling with each shallow breath. He kneels between her spread legs, his breath hot against her wet folds. ‘This perfect little pussy is going to be mine to play with. I’m going to make it drip and beg for more before I’m done with it.’
If the chair is low enough and the angle is right, he moves closer, positioning his hard cock at her lips. ‘Open up! Take this cock.’ - Attend a Couples’ Sex Workshop - Sometimes the best way to bring fresh energy into your relationship is to learn something new together. Couples' workshops offer a fun and supportive space to explore intimacy, improve communication, and discover new ways to connect with each other.
- Spreader Bar Play: She’s on her back on the bed, the spreader bar forcing her legs wide, leaving her glistening pussy completely exposed and unable to close. Her hands are free, but it’s a small mercy.
He starts with light, teasing touches, running the vibrator tip along her inner thighs. When he finally presses it against her clit, her back arches off the bed. He works her with cruel, expert skill, alternating between deep, buzzing pressure and light, teasing circles. When he finally decides she’s been teased enough, he sets the vibrator aside and positions himself at her entrance. The angle, with her legs held up and spread by the bar, allows him to go deep, each stroke a powerful claim.
Add dirty talk, like:
“Does that feel good, baby? I can feel you getting so wet for me.”
“This pretty little pussy is all mine to play with now.”
“Tell me how badly you need this cock.”
“I’ve been waiting to fill this pussy up.”
“You look so fucking beautiful like this, all spread out and taking my dick.”
“Let me use this perfect pussy to make myself feel good.
- Do Some Kegel Exercises - Strengthen your pelvic muscles by practicing Kegel exercises daily, and then take it up a notch by incorporating them into your intimate moments. Engaging these muscles during sex can intensify sensations for both you and your partner, leading to more powerful orgasms.
- Latex Clad Conquest: She slips into a sleek latex catsuit, the glossy material fitting closely and accentuating her silhouette. With every step, the soft creak of the latex adds to the atmosphere, building anticipation before a single word is spoken.
As she approaches, the outfit becomes more than clothing—it becomes part of the role she has chosen for the evening. Confident, commanding, and impossible to ignore, she embodies a powerful presence that immediately captures his attention. The striking look and the mystery it creates set the stage for a playful and exciting roleplay experience.
- Try Double Penetration - Butt Plug for Her: First, pour a generous amount of lube onto her asshole and the butt plug. Work it in slowly, gently easing the plug inside and allowing her time to get used to the stretch. Once she’s ready, he slides his hard cock into her pussy, moving deep and steady. The plug makes her feel incredibly full, tightening around him and making the experience more intense for both of them. With enough lube and open communication, this small addition can make sex feel completely new and mind-blowing
- Feel the dominance: If the man likes to dominate, he will love this blowjob position. The woman lies down on her back. The man gets down on all fours above her, with his knees on either side of her head. His penis should be directly above the woman’s mouth. In addition to blowing, the woman can twist both hands along his shaft and brush her thumbs over and around the head.
Add dirty talk, like: I want to feel your cock. In my mouth. Feeling your cock get hard is amazing. <-- example from the Box of Burning Desires card game - Visit an Adults-Only Lifestyle Resort – If you're looking for a truly unique getaway, consider staying at a resort designed for adults seeking relaxation, adventure, and connection. These destinations often offer a welcoming atmosphere where couples can step away from everyday routines, explore new experiences, and meet like-minded people. From themed events and workshops to luxurious pools and spa facilities, a lifestyle resort can provide an exciting blend of intimacy, exploration, and relaxation that creates lasting memories together.
- Have Slow, Tantric Sex - Slow down and focus on touch, breathing, and connection. Taking your time can build anticipation, deepen intimacy, and make the experience more meaningful for both partners.
- Try Gentle Anal Stimulation – Exploring new sensations together can add variety and excitement to your intimate life. Start slowly, use plenty of lubricant, and focus on comfort and communication.
- Try Rimming - Explore new realms of intimacy by giving or receiving rimming, where the focus is on stimulating your partner's anus with your tongue. This can be an incredibly intimate and arousing experience. As always, comfort, consent, and good hygiene are key to making the experience enjoyable for both of you.
- Take a Fantasy Quiz Together – Looking for a fun way to spice things up? A fantasy quiz can help you discover shared interests, start exciting conversations, and uncover new ideas you may want to explore as a couple.
- BDSM element - Dominance Play: Often referred to as master/slave or mistress/servant roleplay, this element of BDSM can be incredibly exhilarating. In our hectic lives, filled with decisions and stress, slipping into a role where one partner takes complete control can feel liberating and powerful. However, it’s crucial that this play is built on a deep trust and love.
- Try Sexting - Keep the flames of desire burning even when you're apart by diving into the art of sexting. Send flirty, suggestive messages that build anticipation throughout the day.
I've been thinking about you all day. I need you inside me tonight.
I want to tie you up and tease you until you're begging for me to fuck you.
- Blended Orgasm - Experience the ultimate pleasure by exploring a blended orgasm, where multiple types of stimulation are combined to create an intensely powerful climax. This often involves simultaneous clitoral and vaginal or G-spot stimulation for women or combining prostate and penile stimulation for men.
- Use Ben Wa Balls - Enhance your pelvic floor strength and enjoy discreet pleasure by using Ben Wa balls. These small, weighted balls are inserted into the vagina and can be worn throughout the day. The gentle movement of the balls helps to strengthen the pelvic muscles, leading to stronger orgasms and increased sensitivity.
- Go on a Date with No Bra or Panties - Add an electrifying sense of daring and excitement to your next date night by leaving your bra and panties at home. The thrill of knowing you’re bare beneath your clothes can heighten arousal and create a playful secret between you and your partner.
