How to Spice Up Intimacy

We love each other, but sex has become predictable. How do we make it exciting again?

Focus on changing patterns rather than simply “having more sex.”

• Change the usual script. If intimacy normally follows the same sequence, deliberately change one element: the time, setting, who initiates, or how the evening begins. E.g. Change the tone — command instead of ask "Undress. Slowly. I want to watch.", "You're going to stay exactly like that while I use my mouth on you."
• Start flirting hours earlier. Send a suggestive message in the morning or tell your partner what you're looking forward to later. Anticipation can make the evening feel different before it even starts. (Whisper in their ear: "I'm not wearing underwear" — then walk away)
• Let the other partner plan the night. Take turns being responsible for creating a surprise intimate evening. "I want us to take turns being in charge of sex night. Not just initiating — planning the whole evening. Surprising each other. I'll go first this weekend. You just have to show up."

How to spice up a relationship - 72-Hour Intimacy Rule

Don't let more than 72 hours pass without intentionally doing something that builds attraction, anticipation, flirtation, or connection. This does not mean having sex every three days. It means keeping desire active.
That could be:

• A flirty text
• A passionate kiss
• A massage (check sensual massage gift set for couples)
• A fantasy conversation
• A couples game (check 11 sexy games for couples)
• A dedicated intimate evening (check ideas in FAQ section)
• A new position (check 165 foreplay and sex ideas)

The goal is momentum.

• Try wearing a remote-controlled vibrator to a fancy dinner, letting your partner hold the remote and tease you at unpredictable moments. The secret game you're playing, creates an intense, shared focus. Every glance across the table becomes charged with meaning, a silent acknowledgment of your secret and the delicious power your partner holds.
• Exploring power exchange in foreplay. This doesn't have to involve elaborate costumes or scripts. It can be as simple as one person taking complete control for an evening. "Tonight, you will not lift a finger," one partner might say. "I will draw your bath, I will pour your wine, I will tell you when to undress and what position to take." This temporary, consensual surrender of responsibility can be an incredible release, a chance to exist purely in the realm of sensation without the weight of decision-making.
• Nip & Tease: It’s her turn to take control — using only her nipples.
  He lies down, either on his back or his stomach, and closes his eyes. She slowly begins to explore his body, gliding over his skin with her chest, letting her nipples trail across him. She takes her time, teasing sensitive areas and building anticipation with every soft, deliberate movement.

• Use Your Words: Tonight, share with each other the things that spark your desire the fastest — the little moments, gestures, and touches that make your heart race. Be very descriptive and use examples of your favorite positions.
  Talk about your recent intimate moments too: what you loved, what made you melt, and how it all made you feel.
• Blindfold & Breathe: Her partner gently blindfolds her, heightening her senses. Using only his breath, he slowly teases along the inside of her thigh, moving gradually upward and letting anticipation build as he approaches her most intimate areas.
  Seal the deal with some kisses in this area for a truly erotic effect.
• Try a Tingling Arousal Gel on Clit – Looking for a simple way to spice things up? A tingling arousal gel can add an extra layer of sensation, helping touch feel more intense and exciting. The cooling or warming effect can bring a fresh element of novelty to your intimate experiences

• Face-Sitting: The man lies on his back while the woman straddles him. Her vagina is pressed against his lips, so that she can see his face. The man stimulates her vagina with his tongue and clasps her butt with his hands. The woman is in control and can grind at her own pace. <-- activity from the Box of Burning Desires Game
• Exploring Anal Play: If you're curious about new sensations, anal play can be another avenue of intimacy to explore together. Whether that involves toys, fingers, or penetration, the key is to go slowly, communicate openly, and focus on comfort. Some women report experiencing intense pleasure from anal stimulation, making it an exciting option for couples who want to broaden their sexual experiences.
  
  Example: The spooning position is often recommended for beginners because it allows for a slower, more relaxed pace. The receiving partner can control the depth and speed, making it easier to stay comfortable and adjust as needed. As with any anal play, using plenty of lubricant and taking your time can help make the experience more enjoyable for both partners.
• Ride & Rule: The Reverse Cowgirl is great for women who want to take control. The man lies on his back, and the woman straddles him, facing away. While in this position, the woman can grab the man’s feet and push each pressure point in rhythm with her thrusts. This will feel especially good right before the man is about to climax. <-- Example from the Love Battleship Couples game

• Pull Your Partner's Hair: Add a Touch of Playful Dominance. Gentle hair pulling can introduce a new dynamic to your intimate experiences, adding a sense of passion, anticipation, and excitement. Start slowly, pay attention to your partner's reactions, and focus on what feels pleasurable for both of you.
• Try Prostate Massage: If you're open to trying something new, prostate stimulation can be an interesting way to explore different types of pleasure. Often called the male G-spot, the prostate can produce unique and highly pleasurable sensations for some men. The key is to take your time, communicate openly, and focus on comfort. Whether you're exploring with a partner or using a purpose-designed product, approaching the experience with curiosity and patience can make it a rewarding addition to your intimate life.
• Sideways 69: The typical 69 position, where one partner is on top, can feel a bit awkward. But by lying sideways, you can both get comfortable and enjoy the process and feelings together.

• It's Time to Get Your Blindfolds Out! Being blindfolded beats just turning off the lights, because you can always peek through your blindfold if you want to. The woman lies on her back with one leg up over her partner's shoulder, while the man kneels and straddles the woman's leg. Then you both can really focus solely on the physical sensations.
• He Gets Bound to a Chair: He sits in the sturdy wooden chair, watching as she expertly binds his ankles to its legs, rendering him immobile. Next, she pulls his arms behind him, the rope wrapping around his wrists and securing him to the chair’s back.
  She kneels, stroking and then sucking his hard cock, enjoying his desperate groans as she reminds him who’s in control. After teasing him to the brink, she straddles his hips and sinks down, riding him with wild passion. She uses his bound body for her own pleasure.
  Add dirty talk like: ‘Every inch of you belongs to me right now, and I’m going to take my time enjoying it.’ ‘And this hard dick is at my mercy now, here to pleasure me.’

• Spreader Bar Play: She’s on her back on the bed, the spreader bar forcing her legs wide, leaving her glistening pussy completely exposed and unable to close. Her hands are free, but it’s a small mercy.
  He starts with light, teasing touches, running the vibrator tip along her inner thighs. When he finally presses it against her clit, her back arches off the bed. He works her with cruel, expert skill, alternating between deep, buzzing pressure and light, teasing circles. When he finally decides she’s been teased enough, he sets the vibrator aside and positions himself at her entrance. The angle, with her legs held up and spread by the bar, allows him to go deep, each stroke a powerful claim.
  
  Add dirty talk, like:
  “Does that feel good, baby? I can feel you getting so wet for me.”
  “This pretty little pussy is all mine to play with now.”
  “Tell me how badly you need this cock.”
  “I’ve been waiting to fill this pussy up.”
  “You look so fucking beautiful like this, all spread out and taking my dick.”
  “Let me use this perfect pussy to make myself feel good.

• Feel the dominance: If the man likes to dominate, he will love this blowjob position. The woman lies down on her back. The man gets down on all fours above her, with his knees on either side of her head. His penis should be directly above the woman’s mouth. In addition to blowing, the woman can twist both hands along his shaft and brush her thumbs over and around the head.
  Add dirty talk, like: I want to feel your cock. In my mouth. Feeling your cock get hard is amazing. <-- example from the Box of Burning Desires card game
• Visit an Adults-Only Lifestyle Resort – If you're looking for a truly unique getaway, consider staying at a resort designed for adults seeking relaxation, adventure, and connection. These destinations often offer a welcoming atmosphere where couples can step away from everyday routines, explore new experiences, and meet like-minded people. From themed events and workshops to luxurious pools and spa facilities, a lifestyle resort can provide an exciting blend of intimacy, exploration, and relaxation that creates lasting memories together.
• Have Slow, Tantric Sex - Slow down and focus on touch, breathing, and connection. Taking your time can build anticipation, deepen intimacy, and make the experience more meaningful for both partners.
• Try Gentle Anal Stimulation – Exploring new sensations together can add variety and excitement to your intimate life. Start slowly, use plenty of lubricant, and focus on comfort and communication.
• Try Rimming - Explore new realms of intimacy by giving or receiving rimming, where the focus is on stimulating your partner's anus with your tongue. This can be an incredibly intimate and arousing experience. As always, comfort, consent, and good hygiene are key to making the experience enjoyable for both of you.
• Take a Fantasy Quiz Together – Looking for a fun way to spice things up? A fantasy quiz can help you discover shared interests, start exciting conversations, and uncover new ideas you may want to explore as a couple.
• BDSM element - Dominance Play: Often referred to as master/slave or mistress/servant roleplay, this element of BDSM can be incredibly exhilarating. In our hectic lives, filled with decisions and stress, slipping into a role where one partner takes complete control can feel liberating and powerful. However, it’s crucial that this play is built on a deep trust and love.
• Try Sexting - Keep the flames of desire burning even when you're apart by diving into the art of sexting. Send flirty, suggestive messages that build anticipation throughout the day.

I've been thinking about you all day. I need you inside me tonight.

I want to tie you up and tease you until you're begging for me to fuck you.

• Blended Orgasm - Experience the ultimate pleasure by exploring a blended orgasm, where multiple types of stimulation are combined to create an intensely powerful climax. This often involves simultaneous clitoral and vaginal or G-spot stimulation for women or combining prostate and penile stimulation for men.
• Use Ben Wa Balls - Enhance your pelvic floor strength and enjoy discreet pleasure by using Ben Wa balls. These small, weighted balls are inserted into the vagina and can be worn throughout the day. The gentle movement of the balls helps to strengthen the pelvic muscles, leading to stronger orgasms and increased sensitivity.
• Go on a Date with No Bra or Panties - Add an electrifying sense of daring and excitement to your next date night by leaving your bra and panties at home. The thrill of knowing you’re bare beneath your clothes can heighten arousal and create a playful secret between you and your partner.