The 5 Love Language List: Real Examples & Ideas

showing how someone might discover or understand their partner’s love language through observation or small moments

1. Words of Affirmation

Example: You notice your partner lights up every time you compliment their cooking, and they often say things like:

• “Do you think I did okay?” or
• “Tell me what you liked about it.”

Insight: They're not fishing for compliments—they genuinely feel loved through kind, affirming words.

Experience story: “I remember one time I complimented my partner on how thoughtfully she packed our kids' lunch boxes for a school trip. Her face lit up in a way that made it clear this meant more than just a "thanks". That moment helped me realize that affirming her efforts verbally really filled her love tank.”

Example: Your partner seems frustrated when you’re on your phone during dinner but relaxes and becomes more affectionate when you go for a walk together or spend a quiet hour just talking.

Insight: They feel most connected when they have your undivided attention.

Experience story: “My husband and I started doing Sunday morning walks during the pandemic. No phones, no agenda, just coffee in hand and conversation. It quickly became our favorite ritual, and we both noticed how much more connected we felt afterward.”
“One night we turned off the TV and just sat on the balcony talking about our favorite childhood memories. It started out casual but turned into a two-hour conversation full of laughter, stories, and even a few tears. That night reminded me how simple presence can feel so sacred.”

1. Words of Affirmation

What it means: Expressing love through verbal appreciation, praise, and encouragement.

Examples:

• "I’m so proud of how hard you worked today.”
• “You make me feel so safe and loved.”

Pro tip: Be specific. “You’re amazing” is nice, but “You handled that meeting like a pro” feels more personal.

Everyday ideas:

• Leave sticky notes with sweet messages.
• Send a midday “thinking of you” text.
• Compliment something small—like their shirt or parenting style.
• Start the day with a compliment.
• Record a short love note voice message.
• Praise them in front of others.
• Say “thank you” for even small tasks.
• Keep a shared compliment journal.
• Post a private love message on social media.
• Create an affirmation jar for rough days.

🎲 Want to make this fun and easy?
Try a Words of Affirmation task from Because Love Should Be an Action and surprise your partner with a loving message challenge.

Scientific Insight: Educational Insight (2024)
A review in Current Directions in Psychological Science (Impett et al., 2024) suggests that the intentionality behind affirming language—such as expressing appreciation or emotional support—is what truly uplifts relationships, rather than the mere existence of a singular "primary" love language

What it means: Showing love with thoughtful, symbolic items—not big price tags.
Pro tip: It’s not about the price—it’s about knowing what makes them feel seen.
Everyday ideas:

1. Bring home their favorite snack.
2. Wrap a handmade note or sketch.
3. Create a “thinking of you” digital album.
4. Personalize a small gift (like a keychain or mug).
5. Subscribe them to something fun.
6. Mail them a surprise, even if you live together.
7. Gift a photo memory box.
8. Leave flowers in their car.
9. Gift something tied to an inside joke.
10. Create a DIY “just because” gift basket.

Research Insight: Empirical Review
(2023–2024)
Systematic reviews show that while gift
receiving is the least commonly preferred love language, when it aligns with a partner’s preference, it still correlates with higher satisfaction in relationships

What it means: Affectionate, loving touch like cuddling, holding hands, or hugs.
Pro tip: It’s not always about sex—comforting physical gestures matter just as much.
Everyday ideas:

1. Sit close while watching a show.
2. Hold hands in bed or walking.
3. Run your fingers through their hair.
4. Cuddle after a long day.
5. Give spontaneous kisses.
6. Rest your head on their shoulder.
7. Touch their arm while talking.
8. Massage their neck while they work.
9. Slow dance in the living room.
10. Hug for 20+ seconds.

Scientific Insight: Physical Touch
Hormonal & Psychological Evidence (2022–2023)

• An ecological daily-life study in Germany found that affectionate touch boosts oxytocin, lowers cortisol, and enhances wellbeing—especially during lockdowns
• A PLOS ONE clinical study confirmed that hugging before stressful events reduced cortisol in women
• A 2025 Auburn University study found that couples who cuddled before sleep had lower stress, better emotional bonding, and no negative sleep impact